Charity

We have been taught that Charity is the pure love of Christ. “Charity suffereth long, and is kind, [charity] envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own” (Moroni 7:45). President Hinckley stated,“that most problems in love and marriage ultimately start with selfishness.” If our marriages are centered on Christ then why would Charity in our marriage not be a top priority? Dr. Goddard said, "Charity is the lens through which we see each other." How we see each other and then treat one another is a choice that we have to make every day. We have to choose to put our spouse and loved ones needs before our own. We need to learn to be both sympathetic and empathetic to their thoughts and feelings. Goddard also stated that, “In our own ways we all contribute to our own unhappiness...charity does not flow automatically from having an extraordinary spouse.  It is primarily the result of the way we choose to see each other." This is really important because when we truly love someone we see them for who they are and are not concerned with trying to change them. Goddard said, "When we love our partners the way they are, we don't care if they change!  That is the very thing that liberates them to change." If our spouse wants to change then they will because of our love and acceptance of them as they already are.

Charity helps us through the tough times within our marriages. It helps us develop a great sense of ourselves and our loved ones. Elder Jeffery R. Holland said, “Love is a fragile thing, and some elements in life can try to break it. Much damage can be done if we are not in tender hands, caring hands. To give ourselves totally to another person, as we do in marriage, is the most trusting step we take in any human relationship. It is a real act of faith—faith all of us must be willing to exercise. If we do it right, we end up sharing everything—all our hopes, all our fears, all our dreams, all our weaknesses, and all our joys—with another person…One of the great purposes of true love is to help each other in these times. No one ought to have to face such trials alone. We can endure almost anything if we have someone at our side who truly loves us, who is easing the burden and lightening the load.”