Covenant Marriage

Elder Bruce C. Hafen gave a talked entitled Covenant Marriage. In his talk he stated, “When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent.” He then went on to say how “Every marriage is tested repeatedly by three kinds of wolves.”

The first wolf is natural adversity.

With natural adversity we each will be given trials and tribulations. Some trials will be a little bump on the road to marital bliss while others might drag us over the edge of the cliff. It’s in these hard times that as husband and wife you need to not only cling to one another but turn to the Lord for help and guidance and this will give you the opportunity to strengthen your relationship with Him and each other.

Second, the wolf of their own imperfections will test them.

Each of us was born with imperfections but we were also born in the image of our loving Heavenly Father. He didn’t send us here to criticize ourselves our let others tell us what our self worth is. We each have our own unique individual worth and remember that we are sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. Dig deep to find yourself worth and hold on to it. Don’t let the world tell you who you are.

Finally the third wolf is the excessive individualism that has spawned today’s contractual attitudes.

Elder Hafen said, “Surely marriage partners must respect one another’s individual identity, and family members are neither slaves nor inanimate objects.”  In the family unit is where we belong. We believe that we will be with our families not only in this life but in the next one as well. Each of us has our own individual purpose here in earth and as members of a family we each contribute to the family dynamics and well being of each other. In marriage and families is where each of us is given the freedom to grow individually and become a better person and in turn help each other grow.

Elder Hafen stated, “The adversary has long cultivated this overemphasis on personal autonomy, and now he feverishly exploits it. Our deepest God-given instinct is to run to the arms of those who need us and sustain us. But he drives us away from each other today with wedges of distrust and suspicion. He exaggerates the need for having space, getting out, and being left alone. Some people believe him—and then they wonder why they feel left alone… When we observe the covenants we make at the altar of sacrifice, we discover hidden reservoirs of strength… And when the wolf comes, may we be as shepherds, not hirelings, willing to lay down our lives, a day at a time, for the sheep of our covenant.”

Defenders of Marriage

In 1995 the church of Jesus Christ issued the Family Proclamation to the world sheikh clearly stated that, “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”  Almost exactly twenty years after this Proclamation was made the Supreme Court in 2015 ruled in favor of recognizing same sex marriage and redefining marriage. Over the last several years we have slowly seen how those who believe in traditional marriage and cling to their religious beliefs are now being persecuted and labeled bigots, racists, and haters. During the Supreme Court ruling Justice Alito stated, "I assume that those who cling to old beliefs will be able to whisper their thoughts in the recesses of their homes, but if they repeat those views in public, they will risk being labeled as bigots and treated as such by governments, employers, and schools." It seems that in order for us to protect traditional marriage we need to focus on protecting our religious freedoms that are clearly stated in the First Amendment. While our religious views may be unpopular it is more important than ever for us to defend our beliefs. We can do this in a firm but kind and loving way. 

Divorce

Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, "A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection." Today many people are too quick to call it quits on their marriage when things get hard. The truth is marriage is hard and requires real work and effort from both partners. The root of divorce is often selfishness which can be avoided if we learn to set aside ourselves for something greater. Elder oaks also stated, "I strongly urge you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation. Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache...Spouses who hope that divorce will resolve conflicts often find that it aggravates them, since the complexities that follow divorce—especially where there are children—generate new conflicts." Divorce will not solve your problmens it just creates new ones and really does have a huge impact on children who are torn between loving both parents and often pitted against the other parent.