Covenant Marriage

Elder Bruce C. Hafen gave a talked entitled Covenant Marriage. In his talk he stated, “When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent.” He then went on to say how “Every marriage is tested repeatedly by three kinds of wolves.”

The first wolf is natural adversity.

With natural adversity we each will be given trials and tribulations. Some trials will be a little bump on the road to marital bliss while others might drag us over the edge of the cliff. It’s in these hard times that as husband and wife you need to not only cling to one another but turn to the Lord for help and guidance and this will give you the opportunity to strengthen your relationship with Him and each other.

Second, the wolf of their own imperfections will test them.

Each of us was born with imperfections but we were also born in the image of our loving Heavenly Father. He didn’t send us here to criticize ourselves our let others tell us what our self worth is. We each have our own unique individual worth and remember that we are sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. Dig deep to find yourself worth and hold on to it. Don’t let the world tell you who you are.

Finally the third wolf is the excessive individualism that has spawned today’s contractual attitudes.

Elder Hafen said, “Surely marriage partners must respect one another’s individual identity, and family members are neither slaves nor inanimate objects.”  In the family unit is where we belong. We believe that we will be with our families not only in this life but in the next one as well. Each of us has our own individual purpose here in earth and as members of a family we each contribute to the family dynamics and well being of each other. In marriage and families is where each of us is given the freedom to grow individually and become a better person and in turn help each other grow.

Elder Hafen stated, “The adversary has long cultivated this overemphasis on personal autonomy, and now he feverishly exploits it. Our deepest God-given instinct is to run to the arms of those who need us and sustain us. But he drives us away from each other today with wedges of distrust and suspicion. He exaggerates the need for having space, getting out, and being left alone. Some people believe him—and then they wonder why they feel left alone… When we observe the covenants we make at the altar of sacrifice, we discover hidden reservoirs of strength… And when the wolf comes, may we be as shepherds, not hirelings, willing to lay down our lives, a day at a time, for the sheep of our covenant.”